One of our friends recently announced that he and his wife are getting a divorce. They are our age 26-28ish but have been married for 6-8 years (don’t remember exactly when) and have 3 kids. We hung out with the two of them fairly recently and they seemed absolutely fine (and I know you can put on a show and pretend everything is fine, but she was sitting on his lap/arms around his neck, etc. – it really didn’t look like a show). We weren’t the only ones who were blindsided, apparently he (the husband) was as well.
Anyways, it got me thinking a few things
1. How can you be blindsided by divorce? I understand if the person is cheating, or leading some secret double life, but that is not the case in this situation. Did they not talk? And if not, wouldn’t you want to try and make an effort – at least for the sake of your three young kids to talk things out before leaving? Do you wake up and decided you do not love the person anymore or realize you do not like the life you created for yourself and decide you want out? Don’t you think that the other person deserves to hear your concerns and try and fix things if they want (which he does) before you just decide it’s over? I honestly just don’t get it.
2. The second thing is that it’s making me feel really old. Are we really at that point where our friends are getting divorced?
I’ve been lucky to be surrounded by happily married couples growing up. My parents, grandparents and almost all my friends parents are still happily married. I do understand that some situations warrant separation, but also think that when you get married and have children you give up some* of your rights to your personal happiness, for the sake of your family.
What are your thoughts on divorce?
*I really mean some, like not being able to go on vacation whenever you like, or choosing to get your child braces instead of those designer shoes you’ve been eyeing.
4.10.10
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Yuck. I knew three or four marriages that ended right around the 26ish mark. They were couples who got married young- and while shocking- none were an OMG surprise when I sat down and thought about it-- most seemed to not be able to cope with 'the rest of your life' aspect of marriage. Only one couple had a little girl. That said, since that time, I haven't really experienced any divorces. I feel bad about your friend and their kids, but you truly never know what goes on behind closed doors. Let's hope it's all for the best.
ReplyDeleteAs for my thoughts on divorce, I know that I'd fight tooth and nail for my marriage.
Wow, that's tough. So far none of our friends have gone down the divorce path, but statistically, I guess it will happen sooner or later. In your friend's case though, I do think it's odd that they wouldn't try to work things out, especially for the kids. I know I sure would!
ReplyDeleteUgh. It' so awful. Divorce just makes me sad. My sister just got divorced and my parents were divorced. It's really ugly, and all around sad.
ReplyDeleteIt's scary isn't it? When our first couple friends got divorced it really threw me for a loop. I mean, it's not like our other married friends thought they'd get divorced when they got married?
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