Sometimes I have a rather wild imagination.
Last night I couldn’t fall asleep because I decided I would have no idea what I would do if the following situation were to occur.
I am babysitting an obese toddler and I HAVE to go grocery shopping, I put him in the cart and his weight causes the cart to topple over immediately snapping his femurs in half. (FYI, I don’t babysit, I don’t know any obese toddlers, and I rarely go to the grocery store). Right now I’m terrified to put any type of baby in a cart. If/when we have kids I will likely have to have my groceries delivered via PeaPod, or fill up the cart with heavy items before I put said baby in to balance out the weight. I’m pretty sure if this were possible it would have happened to someone already, and I would’ve heard about it, and since I haven’t it seems quite impossible, but still logical enough to keep me awake at night.
Other fears perpetually running through my mind are :
- Falling and knocking out all my teeth.
- Laying on my stomach on the floor with my toes curled under me (like I was going to do a push-up) and having someone step on the back of my foot inverting all my toes and having them all break at once.
- Being in a terrible accident where my right hand had to be amputated. Would I use a left-handed mouse? Would I keep the standard mouse so that I wasn’t inept at using other people’s computers, and just move it to the left side? Most importantly, how would I shave my right armpit? What if I wasn’t married? Would I have to hire someone as my armpit shaver? How much would you pay that person? Do I just have one hairy arm-pit all the time?
So many questions, so little time.
17.1.11
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Hahaha, now I know I'm not alone in the oddball fears that keep me up at night. I can at least answer the mouse one: you'd be best to use the standard mouse with your left hand, so you can still use others' computers. That's coming from a lefty and former tech support agent. I have no clue how you'd shave that pit though. You could have it waxed!!
ReplyDeleteI'm constantly worried I'm going to fall and knock all my teeth out. I mean I did when I was in kindergarten, but they were all baby teeth so the fear is totally amplified now. What if you were to hop in a shopping cart seat and it collapsed/flipped forward and you knocked all your teeth out and crushed your right hand and smushed all your toes? That would totally justify losing tons of sleep worrying ;)
ReplyDeleteI have so many irrational fears too.. I always thing of these insane situations that could never possibly happen (unless it was a really FREAK accident), but it gets me so worked up sometimes!! Like, I still think someone is going to kill me while I'm in the shower. Every time. I can't bath without peering out around the shower curtain at least twice per shower.
ReplyDeleteGlad to know I'm not alone ;)
this is hilarious. I love that you blogged it! my irrational fears are just as crazy!
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